When I had my first little girl, I was so beyond exhausted. Sleepless nights and exhaustion literally hurt my mind and body. I could not function and I was a complete mess. My hormones were crazy. The extreme bleeding that nobody warned me about freaked me out. The leaky boobs! Which again, nobody told me about. And I never clued in for about a month about wearing a bra at night with breast pads. Waking up to soaked shirts and wet sheets is no fun when you are running to feed a baby at 3 am. I can write a list about the tips I wish were really in the baby books. But that's a whole other post.
I now know that I had postpartum depression with my first. My trigger was extreme exhaustion. I never admitted it until after it passed. This time around I know what signs to look out for, and make sure that I get some sleep and some help the moment I feel any depression or extreme anxiety come on. I say extreme anxiety 'cause let's face it. With two kids (both in diapers) you will have anxiety. It's just part of the job description.
The one thing that I find harder this time around is 'me time.' With one baby, you can shower when they nap. Or nap when they nap. But now, if one is napping chances are the other is up. So every once in a while I have to ask myself, 'Did I shower today?' Yup, that's right. Showers don't happen every day. Sometimes sleep is a bit more important then feeling clean. And breakfast? Well I eat, but it is sometimes 11:00 am before I realize it's time for mama to eat. Again sleep, shower or breakfast.... what is more important that day. My husband takes the 5 am fussy baby time so I can get some sleep. So from 5:00 am to 7:30 am I sleep. So when he's out the door going to work, I am just getting up and I'm thrown the kids to deal with. Hence no shower and no breakfast for me. I may not look pretty, or have clean clothes on but I got some sleep. Whatever it takes to make sure I'm a happy mama!
So the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". Well let's just say I embrace it this time around. No more proving I can do this on my own. Evenings and weekends I make sure I get 'me time.' Or in motherhood terms I get to take a shower!
