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I'm Ready When You Are

Due date has come and gone. I'm now 8 days overdue. I'm now ready. Psychologically, emotionally, and physically. The baby room is ready. I'm checking off my 'to do' list. But there's just one problem, baby isn't quite ready.

I was really anxious a few weeks back. I wanted him out. I was tired, moody, and disappointed that I was going to have another baby past my due date. But then I realized that this 'attitude' wasn't helping me at all (or those around me). I was fortunate to come across an article in Lamaze Magazine called 'It’s (Not) a Date'. After reading this article I decided to adjust my attitude. I had to stop focusing on the 'date' and more on 'it will happen when we are ready.' I reminded myself that I was anxious with my first pregnancy, took the castor oil, did the sweep, got induced and took the drugs..... and after 36 hours of labour, I saw my daughter for a minute before getting whisked away because of my excessive bleeding, only to see her again 8 hours later. I always had a gut feeling that I rushed something that mother nature probably had a handle on, and if I would have stayed patient I could have had a whole other labour experience.

I post a lot on momstown Winnipeg's Facebook fan page about being pregnant and asked mom's to share their delivery experiences. I love hearing stories from other moms. A few mom's recommended Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. I have been reading up a lot on Ina May but never read the book yet. So I decided to run out and buy the book this past Friday. I figured I had time to read it since it didn't seem like baby was coming any time soon. I highly recommend this book to any expecting mom. Some stories are extreme and not my 'style' but overall the message is about making childbirth a positive, natural and joyous experience. This book has reassured my decision to let nature take it's course, and is really helping me to see labour as a positive experience. Not the dreaded, painful labour that we Westerners have come to expect.

Ina May Gaskin

I also have a Doula this time around.  She's wonderful. She is already helping me stay calm, reminding me to relax and enjoy the pregnancy and my time with the little baby inside me. Between her and my wonderful, supportive, patient husband I think we have a handle on things.

I have had a lot of people comment on how relaxed I am. I'm not complaining about the pain, I'm not as moody, not full of anxiety about being overdue, and I look and feel great. I wasn't like this a few weeks ago. I'm a strong believer that your mind and attitude are more in control of your body then we give ourselves credit for. I'm happy, healthy, excited for delivery, more full of energy, and ready whenever he is.

Last Trip As Family of Three?

The momstown mama is known to have severe 'Mama Guilt' syndrome.  I feel guilty when I go out at night for a few hours (and my daughter is usually already in bed). I feel guilty if I don't take my daughter outside on a beautiful sunny day. I feel guilty when daddy tries to put her to bed and she's crying for mommy to do it. And I feel guilty that my daughter will no longer be the 'only child', the 'centre of our universe'.

I'm really happy to be expanding our family and can't wait to meet our little guy. I know my Bella will love her little brother and he will love her back. But I'm also pretty certain she'll be a little jealous. She won't even let me hold my nieces without crying to be held too. She's a mama's girl and I secretly love it! Half way through my pregnancy I started feeling guilty and a little sad that my daughter will no longer be the centre of our universe. Is this normal? I fight these feelings all the time. I have days where I think she'll be so excited to have a sibling, and days I think about how we'll never be just the two of us. She is attached to me by the hip. As a stay-at-home / work-at-home mom she is with me 24/7.

So our due date has come and gone. The day after our due date, I thought it would be great to enjoy a family outing, our last outing as a family of three. I wanted to ensure Bella spent some quality time with us before our attention shifted to a newborn baby boy. We had so much fun!

So what better way to spend the day in Winnipeg then go to one of our great city's most popular tourist attractions, The Forks. We started off with breakfast at The Pancake House. Good food as always, and we couldn't resist but get the Giant Apple Pancake to share (on top of our own breakfasts).

Then we walked around the shops, letting her push the stroller and wander around without holding our hands like a 'big girl'. Then we went to the Johnston Terminal to check out the "Explore Manitoba Centre'. This was her favourite part and we spent a good hour there.

Silly Bella Bop loved watching us take turns putting our heads on different bodies.

Singing one of her favourite songs 'row, row, row your boat' while she sat in the canoe.

A true prairie girl, riding the tractor. 

Checking out the big Polar Bear with daddy, growling back without fear!

We had a great time and I feel much better knowing I spent some good quality time with my daughter. I'll always remember this day. What seems to many as a typical Sunday morning meant so much to a little prairie girl and her mom.

Wordless Wednesday - Prepping for Labour with a Pedi

A Boring Mama

I'd like to think that I was a pretty fun mom with my daughter. I had her signed up in activities since she was 6 weeks old, and went to lots of playdates and events with my momstown Burlington mamas. But this last stretch of pregnancy has got me tired. We had a big move back home to Winnipeg. So lots of my attention went to packing boxes. Bella enjoyed attempting to tape boxes while I packed but I'm sure a playdate would have been much more fun. And now with this pregnancy, I'm getting more and more tired as the weeks go by. I'm at that heavy whale stage! And I feel like I'm now this boring mom.

Fun me took my daughter to the park! Snow, snow melt away.

One of our many play dates!

Is this the beginning? I know the heavy stage will pass once baby is born. But then will come late night feedings and the exhaustion of running after two kids. Will this 'boring mom' stage continue? I sit and watch her play. I sometimes lay on the couch watching her play. And her new line has now been "mommy tired, mommy sleepy." Walks are non existent right now.... waiting for the snow to melt but am I just making excuses for myself? Playdates have drastically been reduced, as well as visits to drop in centers. I don't even take her to the malls for a walk right now. And I love to shop. This was our thing to do on those rainy days! The thought of carrying her and lugging the stroller all by myself sounds exhausting enough. And grocery shopping! I can't lift her in and out of the carts any more. So now I send my dear husband to the store with a list or wait for him to come with us. My daughter must be going insane! I know I am!

Fun mom took Bella for walks in the park.

Fun mom did crafts with Bella on a daily basis. Between 9 and 10 was craft time. 

I did sign her up for her first gymnastics class next month. But with baby due any day, I know it will be daddy joining her in class for the first while. I'm a little sad that it won't be me sharing that experience with her. I'm nervous that my attention will focus on this new little boy and I'll unintentionally ignore my baby girl. So moms of 2 (or more), what's the secret? How can I make sure she won't get ignored and how can I work on being that fun mom again?

Here's to hoping this boring mom stage will disappear along with the snow. I know that momstown.ca was a great kick in the butt to get out there and socialize when I was feeling down. So I can't wait to start up momstown Winnipeg and get out there and meet other moms. It's the kick in the butt I need!

Wordless Wednesday - Playmates Before Birth