I thank my lovely wife for the warm introduction in the previous blog “Introducing your momstown Papa”; any chance to boost my ego is always a good thing (did I just say that out loud?)!
One thing I have observed over the years as a parent and husband is the dreaded “I never”. I never get to go out. I never have me time. I never, I never…. Does this sound familiar? It is true that the little people do demand a lot of attention and time (especially for mama), and it is also true that this does bring out an inherent difference between the sexes.
Although I do feel guilt from time to time, it does not always prevent me from taking time for my self. I am sure you have all experienced this, a “quick” grocery run often results in a text message “where are u?”. Or how about a guys weekend shortly after returning from a business trip that was made up of adult interaction, hotel beds, and company paid dinners. I am sure you all remember these situations, you ladies never seem to forget and you make sure we don’t forget either!
I will admit it I do take my liberties from time to time, and I absolutely feel guilty sometimes but I don’t necessarily regret it. I am all always amazed by the “I never” comment and how powerful and limiting this mommy guilt is. Its not a silent killer like carbon monoxide, it is in plain sight yet it is still controlling.
The way I see it, if we are hungry we eat. If we are thirsty we drink. If I am tired I have a coffee. You get the point. So in my mind it would logically make sense that if we need “me” time, we take it.
So it is a challenge to my wife that when she feels an “I never” coming on, use it as an opportunity to tell yourself you need to take action. I can change a diaper, hold a bottle and make food. It may be painful at times, but I will survive! As the guys always joke, a happy wife is a happy life, so as a man selfishly putting his needs first please be happy and take all the “me” time you need!
Great to have a papa's point of view!
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