When I had my first little girl, I was so beyond exhausted. Sleepless nights and exhaustion literally hurt my mind and body. I could not function and I was a complete mess. My hormones were crazy. The extreme bleeding that nobody warned me about freaked me out. The leaky boobs! Which again, nobody told me about. And I never clued in for about a month about wearing a bra at night with breast pads. Waking up to soaked shirts and wet sheets is no fun when you are running to feed a baby at 3 am. I can write a list about the tips I wish were really in the baby books. But that's a whole other post.
I now know that I had postpartum depression with my first. My trigger was extreme exhaustion. I never admitted it until after it passed. This time around I know what signs to look out for, and make sure that I get some sleep and some help the moment I feel any depression or extreme anxiety come on. I say extreme anxiety 'cause let's face it. With two kids (both in diapers) you will have anxiety. It's just part of the job description.
The one thing that I find harder this time around is 'me time.' With one baby, you can shower when they nap. Or nap when they nap. But now, if one is napping chances are the other is up. So every once in a while I have to ask myself, 'Did I shower today?' Yup, that's right. Showers don't happen every day. Sometimes sleep is a bit more important then feeling clean. And breakfast? Well I eat, but it is sometimes 11:00 am before I realize it's time for mama to eat. Again sleep, shower or breakfast.... what is more important that day. My husband takes the 5 am fussy baby time so I can get some sleep. So from 5:00 am to 7:30 am I sleep. So when he's out the door going to work, I am just getting up and I'm thrown the kids to deal with. Hence no shower and no breakfast for me. I may not look pretty, or have clean clothes on but I got some sleep. Whatever it takes to make sure I'm a happy mama!
So the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". Well let's just say I embrace it this time around. No more proving I can do this on my own. Evenings and weekends I make sure I get 'me time.' Or in motherhood terms I get to take a shower!
I defenatly go for sleep more often than not. i'm a single mom of 3, a 10 yr old with social development problems, a 2 1/2 yr old and a 4 mo old.
ReplyDeletesleep first, eat second and showers last. i'm lucky that the baby is so easy going, and my 2 yr old will just hop into the shower with me. so...no privacy (or steaming hot water) but hey, i get clean!
my "me time" comes when they are all sleeping, by 9 pm usually, and i take an hour to read or watch a show and put off the laundry or whatever else needs doing. If i didn't i''d surly go crazy!
Mother's most definitley need to take me time. If you are not okay then it makes it difficult to take care of others. I had a two year old (still in the diapers) and twin boys. For the first two months my husband was lucky enough to take some time off work. We were really tight for money but his help was way way more beneficial than money. After that It was just me and 3 babies. It was overwhelming, and stressful to say the least. I am pretty sure I had post partum and I developed a thyroid problem. On top of that all three kids were sick with colds constantly. My oldest went to daycare once a week to give me a break and of course brought home all the germs. So for the first year out of their life the twins were constantly sick. Nothing life threatening but it just really sucked. I don't usually get sick but because my immune system was messed up from having babies and being ssleep deprived and stressed I was constantly sick too. I am pretty sure I went days without brushing my teeth or taking a shower. My husband was super helpful when he got home from work but by then I was too tired to get into the shower. Alot of times, the minute my husband would come home I would go out. To the grocery store, to walmart, whereever as long as I was away from the house. A few times I even went to dinner by myself. I was never gone too long but i just need to be by myself for a little bit. Like I mentioned earlier i suffered from post partum in which I denied for a long time. I tried to convince myself that because I am strong woman that I wouldn't let depression take over. Which was a mistake. If I had asked for help earlier I could have enjoyed my kids more while they were babies rather than be just so overwhelmed and stressed all the time. My kids now are 2 and 4 and thing are alot easier. My advice for all moms no matter how many children you have or your home situation always take care of yourself. If momma's not happy then nobody is happy.
ReplyDeleteEster - I still don't get a shower everyday, unless it's at night. I always, always pick sleep over shower and often over food. Hang in there - it will get better.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that I'm not alone! Not just about the shower (which I kind of thought there were other mama's out there who picked sleep over showers). But just hearing your stories makes me happy that I shared mine. Because someone out there may be reading this and needs to know that they are not alone in the struggles of motherhood. Please continue to share your stories as it helps me, and I'm sure it helps other mama's out there too! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and for all your support!
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ReplyDeleteKrista
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